The Satchel Inventory Incident
📜 ARCHIVE MOMENT
Orrin stood at the archive table with Mandy’s satchel in his claws.
He looked into it again.
Then he reached inside.
Out came a book.
Then another.
Then a folded shirt.
Then a small laptop.
Orrin paused.
“…Mandy.”
“Yes?”
“Why is there a computational device inside a pocket-dimension snack satchel.”
Mandy shrugged.
“Convenience.”
Pip was already halfway inside the bag again.
He pulled out a bundle of fabric.
“What is this object?”
Mandy glanced over.
“Oh—”
Too late.
Pip proudly lifted the garment above his head like a scientific discovery.
“…It has launch cups.”
Orrin froze.
Chronos blinked.
Pip examined it carefully.
“Dual containment bowls… elastic structural harness…”
He turned it sideways.
“…Possible relic launcher.”
He placed it on his head like a helmet.
The straps dangled down the sides of his face.
“I believe this is a stabilizing apparatus.”
Mandy burst out laughing.
Chronos covered his mouth.
Orrin closed his eyes.
Very slowly.
“…Pip.”
“Yes, Archivist?”
“Remove the mortal undergarment from your head.”
Pip froze.
“…Undergarment?”
Mandy wheezed.
“It’s a bra.”
Pip slowly lifted it off his head.
“…A what.”
Mandy attempted to explain through laughter.
“It’s for—”
Orrin cut in immediately.
“That explanation will not be necessary.”
Chronos leaned slightly closer.
“…Curious design.”
Orrin turned.
“…Chronos.”
Pip looked deeply confused.
“…Why would mortals construct a dual cup projectile device and not use it.”
Mandy nearly fell over laughing.
“It’s not a launcher!”
Pip turned the bra upside down.
“…It has excellent aerodynamics.”
Orrin snatched it from him.
“That will be enough inventory for today.”
He shoved the garment back into the satchel with academic urgency.
Pip scribbled in his ledger.
Artifact Log — Visitor Satchel
• infinite snacks
• clothing storage
• portable computation device
• unidentified dual-cup harness
He paused.
Then added:
Possible launcher — classification uncertain
Orrin looked over his shoulder.
“…Pip.”
“Yes?”
“Erase the launcher hypothesis.”
“…Noted.”
Across the room Mandy was still laughing.
Chronos quietly reached into the satchel.
Pulled out another cookie.
“…Still acceptable.”
Orrin stared at him.
“…Chronos.”
